Being Anti-Sexist…as a Man?
Naturally, when people imagine a “feminist” or an anti-sexist, they think of a woman. The word itself literally implies someone of a female gender, and women tend to be the most prominent anti-sexists, founders and evolvers of the movement. Since the issue of gender bias tends to put cis-men at the top of the pyramid, it is only natural that those who are disadvantaged would be the ones to stand up against the oppression. For these reasons, many people struggle to imagine a man as an anti-sexist. According to an important IPSOS global study published this year, a third of men believe that feminism is a force for harm in our society. Nearly half of American men see ‘traditional masculinity’ as under threat. With numbers like these making the news, perhaps not coincidentally in the same year that Roe was overturned, I think it’s more important than ever for men to understand the ways in which living in a patriarchy negatively impacts them, too, and why we all should be anti-sexist.
Many men fail to realize that patriarchy harms their well being. Just like with women, many unfair expectations are forcefully given to men. Men are taught to be strong and stoic, and are often told to suppress their femininity to keep appearances. This way of life has led to serious issues for many men, promoting toxic masculinity and body image issues while simultaneously making it harder for men to seek out help; It also places a lot of pressure on men to be the sole provider for their families, which is both unrealistic and incredibly stressful. Men need to realize that by becoming an anti-sexist, they are not only helping the women of the world, but everyone who is forced to conform to roles they feel they don’t belong to.
So, how can you be an anti-sexist as a man? Well to start with, being a non-sexist and being anti-sexist are two different things. Being non-sexist is to be passive; maybe you don't agree with sexism, but you yourself aren’t sexist. This doesn’t help anyone. Being anti-sexist, on the other hand, requires you to take action to help those around you and to become an active agent for change rather than a bystander.
Being anti-sexist as a man also requires you to properly acknowledge the internal sexism you may harbor in yourself, and in the patriarchal system we live in. Many men’s first instinct when faced with this is to go on the defensive; After all, who would ever want to pin the blame on themselves? But defending yourself does not do anything, and is no help to those around you. Despite how hard it may be, you must look at yourself objectively to acknowledge that you may hold some societal biases or prejudice towards women that you had not realized before, and you must make a conscious effort to change that and be a positive influence to others who may have made the same mistakes as you. Perhaps you assume that your mother will cook, clean and do laundry more than your father will. Perhaps you’re slightly uncomfortable with the idea of a female electrician wiring your house. The effect of living in a patriarchy is that everyone – of every gender – tends to subconsciously carry these biases. It’s just that those benefiting from them – usually men – have less reason to question them.
Overcoming implicit biases requires real mental effort. Becoming anti-sexist is not a quick or easy thing to do. Earning that label is an ongoing mission that requires real dedication and work, in order to better the lives of others. What you say. How you vote. How you behave in social situations, when the pressure may be on.
In my own life, I know that living up to these tenets is a work in progress. But I believe it is an effort worth making, especially for men in this country, and especially now. Because if not now, when?